Date nights are important, and
they take a bit of strategic planning. If your honey doesn’t seem
interested, here are some tips to help get him in the mood.
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To motivate your husband to take you on a date, you may
first need to consider the reasons why he isn't motivated to begin with.
This will help you know how to get him in gear and actually want to go
out with you. Understanding is the first step to making a change.
A wise man by the name of Carl Bard said, "Though no one can go back
and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand
new ending." This has real application in your marriage. If you want
dates with your husband to happen, consider these suggestions that just
might lead to a brand new, happier ending.
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1. Be understanding of his needs
He's tired. He's been working away from your home
all day and it feels good to be home. When he walks through that door
after a busy day at work, pay attention to him. Let him know how happy
you are to see him. Hug him. Kiss him. A happy man with a happy wife
will do almost anything to please her. Just give him a little time to
unwind.
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2. Let him know you want to go out on dates
He may be clueless about this. You may be steaming
inside about his insensitivity to your needs when, in fact, he isn't
even aware of how important this is to you. Stop the internal steaming
and do some gentle heart-to-heart talking to him about how you feel. By
all means, don't start with "You never..." You won't get anywhere with
that approach. You might start the conversation with a comment like,
"Honey, there's something that's really important to me. May I share it
with you?" Then tell him about your desires without being accusatory,
acting hurt or acting neglected. Let him know you want to be with him
and have some fun away from the everyday duties.
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3. Define what a date is
It's not an evening out with the kids. It's an evening out without
the kids. He needs to know he's your priority, and this is one way to
prove it. A date is stepping away from the usual into the realm of the
unusual. It's taking a break from the stresses of life and just enjoying
being with each other. Most men will welcome this idea.
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4. Think about the kind of date he would enjoy
If you want to go out to dinner, find a restaurant
that offers some of his favorites. A friend said, "I know my husband
loves barbecue, so if I suggest a place that serves the best barbecue in
town, he's on board." If he gets his favorites sometimes, he'll be open
to your favorites other times.
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5. Look pretty for the occasion
Dress up a bit. It's fun to be with a woman who
cares about how she looks. Make him proud to have you by his side. That
doesn't mean you have to get all fancied up every time you go out, but
you need to change into something attractive, even if it's those trendy
jeans with glitter on the back pockets. That alone will put specialness
into the date. Make the man proud to be with you.
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6. Make it easy
Have a few plans in place, like a babysitter. If you
wait until the last minute to call a babysitter you may be out of luck.
Plan ahead. Make reservations at a restaurant or buy movie tickets
online.
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7. Vary the type of dates you go on
If you always do the same old thing, it's going to
be less inviting to go. Keep it interesting and within your budget.
Consider the kind of movie he might enjoy. Tempt him with an
action-filled adventure on the big screen. If he enjoys being in nature,
consider a hike with a picnic at the end. If he loves sports, get some
tickets to a game.
If you're thinking this is all about him, it's not. As you please him
with things he enjoys, you will be surprised how much you start to
enjoy them too. You will also find that, as you please him, he will be
more open to pleasing you with your favorites. Being a happy couple is
all about pleasing each other. Religious leader, Gordon B. Hinckley,
said, "True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of
anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion."
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8. Sometimes, include another couple you both enjoy being with
Check with your husband to see whom he would like to
include. That's respectful. If it's a couple he enjoys, he'll be more
inclined to go.
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9. Keep the conversation positive
If your husband thinks that, during the date, he's
going to be inflicted with complaints about all the negatives that are
going on, he won't welcome a date at all. You won't enjoy it either.
Fill the conversation with positive talk.
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10. Pick a day of the week and make the dating consistent
Many couples like to go out on Friday night. It's
something fun to look forward to at the end of a busy week. It may have
to change to a different day, at times, but for the most part, if you
choose a certain day and stick to it, it will become a tradition filled
with happy memories.
Dating keeps the spark in your marriage. You may need to be the
instigator at first. If you want him to initiate a fun date, just say
the words. "Honey, surprise me with a date-night idea. I would love it."
Then, when he does, you better darn well love it, or at least do your
best to enjoy it. That will be motivating.
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